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How to Feel and Process Emotions by Carolina Vasquez

incorporating insights from Dr. David Hawkins and Dr. Gay Hendricks

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*It is recommended that you read all of the steps below before attempting to do it.

 

Step 1: Find a Safe Space

● Begin by choosing a location where you feel safe and won't be interrupted. This is essential, especially at the start of this practice. Over time, with enough experience, you'll be able to process emotions anywhere, but initially, focus and a peaceful environment are crucial.

 

Step 2: Set an Intention

● Intention Setting: Start by stating, “I give myself permission to feel and honor my feelings without criticizing them or judging them.” This intention allows you to welcome your emotions without fear or judgment.

 

Step 3: Breathe and Notice Your Body

● Deep Breathing: Take deep breaths and turn your attention inward.

● Body Scan: Begin by noticing different areas of your body—head, neck, shoulders, jaws, back, chest, stomach, and throat. Identify where you feel the most tension, heaviness, emptiness, or pressure.

Each area of your body corresponds to different emotions:

○ Head, Neck, Jaw, Shoulders, Back: These areas often hold anger.

○ Chest: Here, you might feel loneliness, longing, or grief.

○ Stomach: This area typically corresponds to fear.

○ Throat: In the throat, you may feel sadness.

 

Step 4: Identify the Emotion

● Recognize Sensations: Focus on the area with the most sensation. For example, if you feel tension in your stomach, say out loud, “I feel scared.”

● Observe Changes: Pay attention to what happens to your body when you identify the emotion. Does the sensation intensify, move, or diminish? These changes indicate you’re addressing the correct emotion.

 

Step 5: Acknowledge and Name the Emotion

1. Acknowledge: Verbally acknowledge the emotion: “I feel [emotion].”

2. Explore the Cause: Follow with “I feel [emotion] because…” and insert the first thought that comes to mind. Trust your body’s response over your mind's logic.

3. Permission: Give yourself permission to fully experience the emotion: “I give myself permission to feel [emotion].”

○ If you feel overwhelmed, you might be experiencing guilt or shame. In this case, say: “I am not bad for feeling [emotion],” or “I am not stupid for feeling [emotion].”

 

Step 6: Take Responsibility

● Ownership: Acknowledge your ownership of the emotion: “I take full responsibility for this [emotion].”

○ Alternatively, you can say, “I get to take care of this [emotion]—it is mine.”

 

Step 7: Process and Repeat

● Monitor Shifts: If the sensation moves to another area, start the process again: “Now I feel [new emotion]. I give myself permission to feel [new emotion].”

● Special Considerations: Often, anger contains underlying helplessness, particularly over others’ behaviors. In these cases, use statements like:

○ “I acknowledge I have felt helpless over other people’s behavior for a long time.”

○ “I have felt a victim to other people’s behaviors for a long time.”

 

Step 8: Address Guilt and Shame

● Recognize the Roots: Guilt and shame often sit in the throat and stomach, manifesting as tension or discomfort in these areas. These emotions are commonly linked to fears that others won't love, accept, or be there for us, leading to a deep-seated fear of abandonment.

● Acknowledge Self-Criticism: Guilt and shame are often fueled by intense self-criticism and self-shaming thoughts. Begin by acknowledging: “I have believed a lot of negative things about myself, but I don’t have to anymore.” Recognize that these beliefs can be released through conscious awareness and the decision to let them go.

● Reassure Yourself: When these feelings arise, say, “I acknowledge that I feel guilt/shame because I fear not being loved or accepted.” Reassure yourself with, “I am worthy of love and acceptance as I am.”

 

Step 9: Honor and Release the Emotions

● Allow the Feelings: Let the emotions sit with you, giving them time to process naturally. Resist the urge to minimize or rationalize your feelings (“It’s not that big of a deal”).

● Adaptive Beliefs: As you finish honoring each emotion, replace them with empowering beliefs:

○ “I consciously choose to let go of the belief that I am a victim of other people’s behavior.” ○ “I consciously choose to begin to let go of worthlessness.”

○ “I consciously choose to let go of feeling not good enough or lovable.”

○ “I begin to let go of the belief that I am bad or condemned.”

○ “I consciously let go of the belief that I have to be better than others in order to feel worthy.” ○ “I consciously begin to let go of the belief that I cannot trust others to love me or be there for me.” ○ “I consciously begin to let go of the belief that I cannot rely on others.”

 

Step 10: Understand the Process is Gradual

● Emotional Release: You won’t release all anger, guilt, shame, or sadness in one sitting. This is a gradual process that unfolds over time. However, each time you engage in this practice, you are actively releasing stuck emotions and moving closer to emotional freedom.

 

Credits:

● This process draws on the teachings of Dr. David Hawkins, who explored the importance of feeling and understanding our emotions. Book suggestion: Letting go By Dr. David Hawkins

● It also incorporates the principles from Dr. Gay Hendricks, particularly his “10-Second Miracle,” which emphasizes the quick shift that can occur when we fully acknowledge and process our emotions.