Mom-guilt and Mom-rage
Updated: Sep 16, 2020
So check this out. I just did a thing. I JUST carefully, and quietly, climbed out of my daughter's crib. You read that correctly. I just climbed out of my daughter's crib. How did this even happen? Well, it's really quite a simple story. It's been a week of teething with an angry and cranky toddler who is fighting naps and clinging to me with greater strength than water stains. I am at the end of me. She is waking up at 5 am everyday screaming at the top of her lungs and I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm sitting there praying, and thinking of all my coping skills, and degrees, that at that moment really mean nothing. She's standing there, crying, and climbing on me as if that's going to bring her comfort but it really does NOT because she just needs to nap. So I put her in her crib for a nap but she begins to ugly-cry and I just can't handle that right now so I do what any desperate mom would do: I climbed in her crib to help her fall asleep. She was exhausted so it really only took like 10 minutes. After trying a zillion other things throughout the week I can't even believe that worked and I'm feeling like a magician for making that happen.
Minutes before my crib-escape I had the thought to write this blog because I was feeling pretty silly inside a crib and I felt like this was a funny story to share. But I also HAD to share it because I feel like the feelings that come from parenthood aren't always talked about. Let's talk about how it is possible to feel from love, to rage, to guilt, to adoration, to exhaustion, to inadequacy and success, all within minutes. Let's talk about how we've all done silly things just to get a break from the madness. Let's talk about it because when we don't it is so lonely and isolating.
If you clicked on this blog and you're wondering when I'm going to talk about mom-guilt and and mom-rage, let me just tell you that the purpose for this title is simply to let you know that you're not alone in your feelings. Let me reassure you it is normal to feel feelings other than 'perfect-mom' feelings. Let me tell you it is okay to not be perfect.
While I have years of experience teaching parenting classes for children and out-of-control adolescent behavior, my work as a therapist is not to teach you how to be a parent. I could never do that. My work as a therapist is to provide you with tools, resources, and healthy coping skills so that you can embrace all that you are and be the best person you aspire to be: for you, for your children, for your family. Whatever you're going through today, I hope you give yourself a chance and a break. You are enough.